Blindness

Last weekend, I watched Dancer in the Dark again. Its one of the many movies that I will never get tired of watching despite some of its sappy and soap opera-ish parts. Bjork’s performance, the ending and the soundtrack are enough to keep me interested for 2 hrs.

The movie is about Selma played brilliantly by Bjork.

Selma's life would be one of relative contentment if it were not for the ugly secret she harbors -- she is on the verge of blindness due to a genetic disorder, and her young son will suffer the same fate without an operation. More here.

The movie always makes me think. How scary it is to go blind? In Selma’s case, she knows she will lose her eyesight soon but waiting for that day is a torture. If only I was brave enough, I should have asked this question to my late aunt. She died six years ago, and two years prior, she was already blind. The doctor said its glaucoma, and considering her health condition, the doctor didn’t recommend any operation as he said there will be no assurance that she can see again. For that span of time, we were her eyes. I can felt her sadness and we tried so hard to cheer her up. I think its true, that if you lost one sense, other senses compensate. She became so sensitive with the sounds and can feel anything around her. I wasn’t able to ask her what the last thing she ever saw was.

I am afraid of getting blind too. After my eyes received a smash from a tennis ball, I decided to permanently hang my racket in my room. I promised not to play that sport ever again. In a matter of second, I saw nothing and as I slowly remove my hands on my face my heart palpitated. Once blurred, I eventually saw clearly. Whew! After that accident, I went to see a doctor and he recommended a laser surgery but until now I didn’t have the time to undergo that operation. Its been four months already!

Again, I am thinking, which one is less painful, getting blind all of a sudden or knowing that you will be blind soon. Both are painful, in my opinion.

Monochrome Weekly

Blindness

the pastel sunsets I chase
and the bowing weeds I pass by

the neon lights play at night
cradling spirits on the streets

rainbow flower fields
solace to butterflies and bees

vanishing colors streaks
turns pitch black

all is gone.

the laughter of kids
in harmony with splashing waves

the tapping of the rain
and whispers of the wind

rhythm of footsteps
approaching and leaving

comforting sounds
in a dark world

not all is gone.

/totomai

Here in Japan though, I am surprised by how the government takes care of the blind persons. Every pedestrian is equipped with sound system for them to hear. At the train station, there are yellow lines and areas intended for them to feel. The railings, stairs and the walls have codes (braille) and instructions for them to follow.

But then again, if I go blind, is there a way to see things? I can always use my imagination and paints sceneries on my mind. It may never be as close as the real thing but that’s one option I can do. Of course, I will miss my camera and the photo opportunities. I can’t continue to work and I don’t know what I will be capable of doing in case I lose my sight. How can I earn money? Will I depend so much on the sounds around me? Will somebody’s going to take care of me? I don’t know and I hope I won’t be in that situation.

I am taking good care of my eyes more than anything. I don’t want to be in a situation that I will be biting my elbows. But anyway, I am blaming these thoughts on the movie.

/totomai
11/20/08